Bubbly pickle

I have a confession to make. When the LibDem conference agenda has arrived at our humble household in the past, a highlighter pen has been rapidly withdrawn from its sheath for the specific purpose of highlighting those fringe events with the magic words "free supper" or "Free bar".

The NUT event was always an absolute must, with the promise of free bangers and mash and a free bar.

And, oh my goodness, the rapture of managing to blag ones' way into the Tesco reception, where attractive young women and men came round and refilled your glass with champagne at the merest hint of one reaching even the middle of one's glass.

And tales of the Friends of Israel's generosity, of beautifully fortified wines and of friends stumbling into the afternoon light from their lunchtime events, are legendary.

...and that was at a LibDem conference.

So, Eric Pickles really is as daft as a brush to suggest that champagne-quaffing should cease at this year's Tory conference. By doing so he was just drawing attention to the breach of his suggestion. And, by the way, I read that Mr Pickles is a real ale enthusiast anyway. So he doesn't have to worry about a champers ban, he can go "under the wire".